A God You Do(n't) Know
by JayLDC
Summary: So, what happens when a god from a different dimension finds her way to the main characters dimension? Lotsa of bad jokes, a little more drama, and a bigger story line to what you would have almost never expected... or called from the beginning.


Story Title: A God You Do(n't) Know

Chap 1: She Didn't Choose God Life

 **A.N. Disclaimer, I obviously do not own the rights to Noragami or any of its sponsoring companies… because if I did I'd be writing the storyboard for the next season right now! *Doesn't regret being as young as I am, almost 15.* ANYWHO, let's get this shiz started. Being a guy, let's see how awesome of a girl I can portray right?**

 **Song for this chapter: (I do one or two songs per chapter, just to give you the feel I want… It's not a sex thing, Gohan doesn't need an adult.) Zombies Ate My Neighbors by Single File. Enjoy!**

: ? POV :

I stood at the top of the hill looking down at the school, my brown hair flying in the wind and my tiny golden crown holding against the gust… I see the phantom floating around in its own midst…

"… Ok Maya is it just me or does that thing look like a giant red hotdog penis with teeth?" I tell to the girl with silver hair in the priestess outfit next to me, she just scoffs "Ugh you're a deadbeat god with bad jokes now, Yiyori?" I giggled lightly and poked her belly gently and teasingly. "You're just angry because your knife ass cant stab a guy's heart worth shit~." I swear somewhere in the backround I heard a group of teenagers going "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH" and falling over onto eachother. "Damn right they are. I'm THAT awesome. ;D" I said to the nothingness…

"Talkin' to yourself again God of the Barren Womb?" She put up her little paper fan to her face and giggled, I stepped on her toes and blushed while looking down, saying shyly… " Sh-Shutup! Y- You know I'm not barren! I h-haven't even had s-s-s-" Maya scoffed and looked away. "Whatever! That's just what Tenjin told me…" I really got mad; I summoned her into a knife and jumped down from the hill.

"Whatever! Let's just kill this thing you lonely blade bitch!" I sliced the phantom around what I think where his belly was. "You are a knife!-" Dodges his tail like Neo and I suddenly get these cool sunglasses as soon as his tail passes over me. "- you're the punk ass bitch of the blades!" I swear, I must be a pyromaniac or something… Because once again I heard those teenagers, and I swear Maya heard it too! And I had this weird cap on my head that said "GL" on it in big letters. They appeared out of nowhere!

Maya retorted while in her regalia form, "Oh yeah? Well you pretend you're a rabbit sometimes!" I whined and flailed my arms "B-But bunnies are sooooo cute!- OOF!" The phantom hit me harder with the tail of his. I got up and spit out blood, my blue eyes burning with a red passion to kill this thing.

I ran around the side of him to the front and waved my arms at him- "HEY PHANTOM! SUCK IT! I'm Konoko!-" I did some epic hip thrusts at him and my shades seemed to get bigger, as well as some type of rolled up lit up paper seemed to appear in my mouth. It tasted like… Pot? "- ONE MORE THING!" He went at me with a roar, and I disappeared and in an instant I re appeared above him from behind, I spoke ice cold… "… I'm back."

… An ice cold chill went through the air as- "REND!" The monster exploded as the signs went around him. Also, a gold chain hung from my neck with a crown emblem on it…

… Basically I was trying to say that I got the phan- "Hey me narrating! I think they get it! I mean, they all saw the anime… right?" … Fine… you get the idea.

: Narrators POV :

Yiyori stood up straight and looked directly into the camera as (Possibly) memers surrounded that one clip with epic memes. Maya retook her physical form and stretched; she looked at Yiyori and dropped to the ground. "Are you effing serious?! A gold chain, a hat, a blunt, and shades?!" Yiyori just looked at her with a straight face. "… I didn't choose God Life, God Life chose me. Bitches can't handle it, bitches can leave…-ndle… It?" Maya scoffed and flipped Yiyori off, and started to pout and crossed her arms. "UGH! I wanna end this pact! Have a good life!" Yiyori shrugged and let Maya go of her contract, and Yiyori took a hit of her blunt. "Ball is life, bitch." Another pair of sunglasses went over the originals. Then she shouted out to the wary ears listening to her. "THE GOD OF ADVERSITY, YIYORI! AT YOUR SERVICE! ;D"

Yiyori didn't hear the gun cock behind her…

: Yiyori's POV :

Hah. Cock.


End file.
